Standing in My Power
I’m finally at a point in my life where I feel in complete control. Not that I have control of what happens but control in painting my reality.
Standing in My Power
Wednesday, August 3rd, 2022
I’m finally at a point in my life where I feel in complete control. Not that I have control of what happens but control in painting my reality. Before I tell you about standing in my power, I have to start with where I was.
I used to live life as so many different versions of myself. As an Indian-American, I had a deep-rooted limiting belief of not being enough. I’m sure many first gens can understand this. No matter what, I was never going to be Indian enough nor American enough; I didn’t feel accepted for who I was. So, I people pleased and played it small thinking maybe then I would be accepted. I found myself in situations doing what I felt I “needed” to but feeling inauthentic to who I was. There eventually came a time when I decided, fuck that! So I set myself free.
Our truth is our power.
I am authentic to who I am at my core. I live by my values. I no longer play it small and know I am capable of more. I give myself what I freely gave to others. I am human and strive for progress, having compassion and grace for myself as I evolve. I have boundaries that allow me to maintain my peace and best of all, I validate myself.
Stepping into my personal power isn’t something that happened overnight. It was an accumulation of events and over the next few weeks, I’ll share some of my game changers.
Undoing
Wednesday, August 10th, 2022
Your truth is your power but what exactly is your truth?
To discover your truth, you have to clear away all the other voices in your mind. You have to undo the cultural conditioning.
I love working with youth; during a chapter in my life, I was a Behavioral Technician providing therapy to individuals diagnosed with autism. My clients ranged from 3 to 13. My favorite part of working with youth was experiencing how authentic they are to themselves. Have you noticed how in the moment and imaginative children are? They dream BIG! We all were like that but as we grew older, the conditioning went deeper. We started to hear and internalize other voices. Teachers, parents, friends, colleagues, society projecting their beliefs and fears onto us from what we should look like to what path we should take with our career and everything in between. So how exactly do we “undo” this?
Anchor in the present.
Hear yourself, where is your mind wandering, how are you feeling, are there sensations in your body?
When thoughts or behavior patterns come up for me, I ask myself why and continue to dig deeper than the first answer that crosses my mind. The answer isn’t that surface level response. Journaling, walks and meditation really help me with this.
Once you’ve started to clear away the clutter, ask yourself what your values and beliefs are.
Resources:
I purchased this workbook a few years back which I feel is a powerful tool in starting to identify those limiting beliefs.
Consumption Audit
Wednesday, August 17th, 2022
After last week’s blog post, I got to thinking how essential it is to do a consumption audit as you question and undo cultural conditioning.
What are you consuming? Who do you follow on social? What movies, shows and podcasts do you listen to? Who are you regularly around?
It’s necessary to pause and reflect on this from time to time because we’re forever evolving and to continue supporting who it is you are and becoming, your environment needs to be encouraging of that.
There is so much power in this because you get to choose! You have complete control over who and what has access to you. Take back your control! And over the next few weeks, I’ll show you how I’ve done just that.
Boundaries
Wednesday, August 24th, 2022
Thank goodness for my therapist introducing me to boundaries! Before therapy, I had never even heard of the concept. I didn’t know “No.” is a complete sentence.
Boundaries aren’t about cutting people off; boundaries help you maintain healthy relationships. There are many types of boundaries like time boundaries, material / financial boundaries, physical boundaries, sexual boundaries, intellectual boundaries and emotional boundaries.
Creating and maintaining boundaries gives you back control of your life. By no means does this mean boundary setting is easy. Think of it like a muscle that strengthens over time. As a recovering people pleaser, I said “yes” to things I didn’t really want to do because I was afraid to disappoint those around me by saying “no.” There’s discomfort when upholding my boundaries but man, do I feel so much peace finally saying “yes” to myself. I now make decisions that align with my values and my boundaries help keep me accountable. I feel in control of my life and no longer swayed and manipulated by others and their agenda.
I’m not one to teach on boundary setting but I will share 2 resources outside of therapy which have been helpful for me.
This Set Boundaries workbook.
June’s coaching theme on boundaries available to pro members here.
Validate Yourself
Wednesday, August 31st, 2022
This is a new one I’ve been practicing. There is no greater power than validating yourself! Knowing that your feelings are valid, your truth is real, your perspective is uniquely yours, no one can take that from you and when you start to value your own validation over others’ validation, it’s a game changer!
I caught myself in this pattern of seeking validation from others when I felt some way (angry, frustrated, sad). Why was I looking for someone to confirm or deny what I was feeling when they can’t fully understand my perspective? I lost the victim mindset and took back my power.
All we’ve ever needed is within us. If you’re feeling called to something, trust that. You have the answers and you have the potential. You don’t need anyone to confirm nor deny what it is you’re experiencing. Give that to yourself.
The Mountain Is You by Bianna Wiest really shined light on my self-sabotaging cycles
